i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
fuck your aforementioned shoe
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
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