No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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