we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
