maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
