I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
