My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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