I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
