Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
