I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
