My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
