1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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