Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
