i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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