Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
