your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize