Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
