I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
