puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize