yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
