It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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