I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
