I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize