I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
She announced her abortion via fbk
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
