I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
