He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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