Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Still dying that you shit outside
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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