oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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