i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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