Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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