please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
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