Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
