This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Houston, we have a blender
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
