And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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