Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
