if you like me you must not know who I am
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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