Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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