so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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