i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
only you would photoshop your dick
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
