K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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