Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
