I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
