how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
