Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
