Define "chronic" masturbator.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
