i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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