operation harelip BJ is a go
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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