Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
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