Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize