somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
