Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
