can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
zippers are such a cool invention
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
