ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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