That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
