STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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