you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
