They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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