**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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