I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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