No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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