woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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