For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
