Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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